More than Kilts and Innards

I have never had the haggis and probably never will, but The Argyle restaurant on Kearny Avenue gets authenticity points for not only serving it, but celebrating it. Where else can you find a month-long celebration that includes the zealous recitation of a poem written for an over-sized sausage? (No, the sausage that frat-boys serenade doesn’t count.)

This Scottish restaurant, which hails from the day when Kearny was the Scottish capital of the U.S., celebrates these special innards in January (actually they’re celebrating Robert Burns’ birthday, the poet behind Auld Lang Syne) with traditional dancers, bagpipes (aka men in kilts), and toasts of whisky, of course.

The only downside is that it’s BYOB (what? a whisky toast sans whisky??), which we found out too late. The table next to us brought enough beer and whisky for the whole place but declined to share. Of course, BYOB can be a real treat since you aren’t limited to whatever the establishment offers, or what prices they charge. Aside from the passionate, brogue-filled poetry, the celebration is a tad like talent night at the local middle school – awkward but sweet – and if you loved So I Married An Axe Murderer, you don’t care. (Harriet! Har-ee-et. Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis.)

Previously, I’d only been there for take-out so this was my first time eating inside. And I must say, since no one comes here for the ambience, you won’t be disappointed. Paintings of men in kilts and military garb line the cafeteria-white walls and the simple wooden tables make you feel like you’re in a small-town pub in the Old Country. Only there’s no alcohol, and thus no bar for old Scottish men to hang around all day, hiding from their wives, dissing the English.

Oh, and need I say? Clearly not a romantic date place either.

The staple Fish & Chips are crispy and expectedly greasy on the outside, but the batter doesn’t overpower the thick, sweet white fish inside. You don’t feel like you’re eating greasy food. The portion of fish you get is quite thick, but I have yet to eat there with a man who felt satisfied with one piece. Luckily, they do sell you single pieces for cheap. Coupled with crispy fries and slathered with malt vinegar (traditionally) or ketchup (nouveau), the meal was filling for me (and cheap! Just $8). However, on this night, I ventured outside the deep-fried fare for Broiled Deep Sea Scallops and my companion had their salmon. Both dishes confirmed that The Argyle is talented with seafood. Even their garlic shrimp, which I seriously doubt has any Scottish roots, was an enjoyable appetizer if not garlicky enough for me.

The menu includes other typical Scottish treats such as Scotch eggs (hard-boiled, wrapped in sausage, breaded and deep fried). Trust me - you’ll soon develop a regular craving for their fresh, crispy fried fish and chips and, who knows, you may even discover you enjoy blood sausage, also on the menu. And if you don’t have a kilt, the Piper’s Cove next door rents them!

The Argyle
212 Kearny Avenue
Kearny
(201) 991-3900

— by Donna M.
Donna is both a Jersey native and recent transplant from NYC. She is executive editor and a co-founder of GoOutJersey.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to our RSS feed!