The Clifton Commons is as much a blessing as it is a curse to the towns it touches. With so much to offer and so little parking, it not only provides visitors with a night out, but challenging tests in patience, timing and cunning.

The AMC Clifton Commons 16 is the business that concentrates my ambivalence towards the center. First, let me be clear. It’s a fabulous theater. If you go during the week, especially to see a film that has been out for a few weeks, the benefits are all you will see.

The individual screening rooms are enormous with comfortable stadium seating. My butt has yet to go numb once – not even during Martin Scorsese’s The Departed. It will usually be showing everything from the biggest blockbuster releases to smaller independent films. (Mind you, it won’t have a great independent selection – just the most buzz worthy ones. For a wider selection, you should check out Clearview’s Clairidge Cinemas in Montclair.) It also offers a variety of ticket-purchasing options: traditional ticket booths, internet, and ATM –style machines that take credit cards.

My first gripe, however, begins with the $9.50 ticket prices. I know skyrocketing ticket costs have become common place these days, but if you shop around, you can do better. They do, however, have student and senior discounts. With a student ID, patrons can save an entire dollar – and thankfully my Rowan University ID doesn’t have any dates on it. Sure, I graduated two years ago – but I’ll still be flashing it at the ticket window long after I’ve had my second hip replacement.

It’s also nearly impossible to buy tickets on opening night, if you don’t either order online or head over to the ticket booths early in the day. An hour before show time is still too late in most cases. Even if you have your tickets, you still have to allow ample time to find seats and parking.

Oh, the time you’ll spend trying to find a parking space! If you’ve only gone to the Commons on a weeknight, you have been lulled into a false sense of ease. The parking lots are nearly empty Sunday though Thursday. Friday and Saturday nights are another matter entirely. Finding a parking space near the theater is like finding a clean toilet at the Port Authority Bus Terminal.

Everyone thinks that the best place to go for parking is behind the theater, to the lot located between The Sports Authority and Barnes & Noble. Everyone is wrong. Although Sports Authority will be closed if you go to a later movie, the lot still has to accommodate everyone at B&N and the overflow from Applebee’s and Chevy’s – and you still have to walk all the way around the lot to get into the theater.

My advice to you – park in the Stop & Shop parking lot. Believe it or not, few people are out grocery shopping at 10 p.m. on a Friday. It’s still a bit of a walk to the AMC, but not much worse than from the B&N lot. It will save you a lot of aggravation and give you an easy getaway after the movie, as it’s close to two main exits.

Hopefully, by the time you’ve parked and gotten to the theater, tickets already in hand, you still have about 45 minutes to go until the movie starts. You’ll need it. The snack lines are usually long and the theaters fill up so quickly that even if you think you’re early, you’ll probably still end up in the back-breaking, neck-wrenching, front rows that put you so close to the enormous screen you could count the leading man’s nose hairs.

And if you were thinking about seeing the newest PG-13 blockbuster before 10 o’clock at night, you may want to reconsider. Every loud-mouthed, obnoxious, hyper-active teen from two counties will be there. As immature as you may think you are in your 20s, you’ll be astounded by how old the crowd makes you feel. Either accept it, avoid it, or join in (I find the best way to ruin some squealing adolescent’s night is to suck on a Milk Dud until it’s just soft enough to stick in her hair if you have good aim – maybe I am just as childish as they are.).

AMC Clifton Commons 16
405 Route 3 East
Clifton
(973) 614-0644

— by Ali Hanford
Ali is managing editor and a co-founder of GoOutJersey and lives in Essex County. She has lived in NJ her whole life.

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