Pop-Rock and $2 Beer

The vibe inside Just Jakes – a restaurant by day and bar by night – varies throughout the week, often in tune with its various specials and entertainment events. It’s not a bad bar to go to, but I’ve never found anything particularly impressive about it.

The majority of my Jakes experiences have occurred during the weekend, when the bar is packed tight with girls who are far too overdressed (overdressed in terms of fanciness – wayyy under-dressed in terms of bodily coverage) for their surroundings or for the cocky men who tend to frequent the bar.

One of Jersey’s endless supply of pop-rock cover bands is usually playing, and the crowd packs in tightly near the stage, with everyone trying to land the best piece of real estate. The girls are understandably whiny about getting knocked into by inconsiderate oafs who stumble back and forth from their treasured location to the bar or bathroom, located at the other end of the bar.

My overly judgmental ways have never allowed me to go in there and have a good time sober, but if I start out with a buzz, I find myself singing/screaming along with the band to whatever iTunes favorite they’re playing when I arrive. If open to the experience, it can be mindlessly fun entertainment.

Sundays redeem the weekend at Jakes. The bar offers a yummy, if a bit salty, overpriced brunch (the omelets are off the hook). Customers get the opportunity to squint at the dirty daylight-revealed bar grime, enjoy the good company of hungover friends, watch football and catch the regulars at their best.

The weekdays are entirely different. Unlike the weekends – where the bar charges a cover and has no drink specials – affordable drinks and free entry await anyone who stumbles into Just Jakes during the week.

Monday nights are kind of whatever. There isn’t very much in the way of entertainment, and specials are limited to $2 Coors Lights. Tuesdays also offer cheap beer with $2 draft pints, but you’ll also find yourself there during a very fun trivia night with a degree of difficulty so high that sometimes the announcer can’t pronounce the questions. It does get annoying if you’re not playing, so if you don’t go to bars to think (or watch other people think), don’t bother showing up until 10:30 p.m. Their obsession with the number two continues on Wednesdays when they offer $2 Harp, Guinness and Smithwicks drafts. Thursdays offer 3 Miller Lights for $3, but be warned: you will likely be crushed among the throngs of Montclair State University meatheads and their gelled-up women.

Essentially, Jakes is a cheap, laid-back hangout for some of the cooler, younger townies and their creepy adult-barfly friends, and the occasional hot lesbian NYC-transplant. According to one regular, “the jukebox sucks, particularly if certain alkie ex-employee ex-art-school hippies get a hold of it, resulting in a Grateful Dead jam (aka two songs) for the remainder of the night - which will be long, if you stay until closing, which happens around 2 a.m.” – especially after a good 45 minutes of abrasive hollering interspersed with lame come-ons from the unimposing bouncer.

Smoking is allowed very near the entrance. The patio is awesome in the summer weather, but beware: after midnight they will cram everyone inside it, no matter how disgusting that may get. Double beware: the new generation of townies. They are anorexic, angst-ridden, and stiff - a total buzz kill.

Just Jakes
30 Park St.
Montclair
(973) 655-8987
http://www.justjakes.com/

—e.clare, a Jersey native who currently lives far far away, contributed to this review.

— by Ali Hanford
Ali is managing editor and a co-founder of GoOutJersey and lives in Essex County. She has lived in NJ her whole life.

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