Come Grab Life (Or At Least A Mechanical Bull) By the Horns!

The Colorado Café is a little slice of country, right here in our neighborhood… sort of. On a winding, un-lit road in Watchung, smack dab between routes 78 and 22, you’d never know you’re five minutes from civilization. This sprawling restaurant, bar, and dance hall isn’t hard to miss, as it’s the only thing on the road.

I visited this bar for the first time as part of a birthday celebration for Ali, our dear Go Out Jersey managing editor. My friends and I rolled up one Friday night, paid our $10 cover charge, and scoped the place out. An expansive, empty dance floor was the first to welcome us. A stage stood dark at one end, while the opposite end of the room held picnic-table-esque seating for waitress service only. The long main bar lined the right side of the dance floor, with supplemental seating provided by a narrow bar-like apparatus with stools pulled up to it that I can only picture cowboys leaning against. A tequila bar glowed a tempting neon orange from the other side of the floor. Off of the main hall was the so-called sports-bar, which was a NASCAR-themed rectangular bar buffeted on one end by a small stage, and on the other by the Colorado Café’s infamous mechanical bull and his padded ring. More on that later. Adjacent to the sports bar was a pool table area, with an outdoor patio beside it.

Thrilled with the variety of places to stand in a circle, my friends and I meandered about the place, killing time until the band performed. I got a tequila sunrise from the aforementioned tequila bar, and was pleased to find it only set me back $5. We spent some time observing the goings-on at the mechanical bull ring; all the riders made it look so easy, and damned if they didn’t look good doing it! My friends pledged to try it later, while I worked on my excuses to not try it later.

Finally, 11pm rolled around. Cover band time! Local rockers The Nerds came out swinging, kicking off their set with Mack the Knife. An odd choice, perhaps, but a lively one. Ali and I clinked our plastic cups (as well as plastic can clink) and danced our little hearts out to a broad range of current hits and oldies while our friends pumped Ali and themselves full of miscellaneous shots (no more booze for me, the heroic designated driver). After the Nerds finished their first set, the Café’s DJ kept things lively by blasting some old-school dance rap classics. Baby Got Back, anyone? Yes, please.

Once our group had thoroughly tired of dancing, we decided that the bull-riding hopefuls among us had had enough booze to actually climb onto a robotic, red-nostriled animal. All the riders signed a liability waiver, which included language about not being under the influence of alcohol and not signing the form because someone made you, which was utterly ridiculous. Then they received some brief instructions on technique from the humorless bull operator guy and laid down $5 for a ride. Ali fared the best, hanging on for what had to be a solid 45 seconds. The rest of our friends did much, much worse. After everyone took a spin, we entertained
ourselves by cheering on strangers. If you can imagine, the novelty of this activity eventually wore off and we headed back to the dance floor, where the Nerds were halfway through their second set.

As we bopped around to Build Me Up Buttercup, I took a moment to observe the crowd around me. Most of the patrons were college-age, or thereabouts. A few appeared way too young to be there legally, and I wondered where they got their fake IDs. This was not a predominantly ‘cool’ crowd. While I spotted the occasional roaming pack of guidos, they were not the dominant group. There was a strong representation from the pleasantly dorky contingent, and I spotted a few moms or mom-aged women getting their freak on by the bar. Ladies, you are as young as you feel, but that’s no reason to borrow your daughter’s clothes.

I was just glad we were there for “rock night,” which is held on Thursdays and Fridays, as opposed to a Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday, when the place is all country. The thought of a huge dance floor full of
amateur line dancers makes me quake in terror. But if you’re into that sort of thing, I’m not one to judge. See the Café’s website for a full dance class schedule. Speaking of not judging, Thursdays often offer competitions such as bikini bull riding, a Catholic school girl contest, and a sexy Santa contest when the season is right. If you long to compete but aren’t slutty, try the Karaoke contest instead.

Colorado Café
154 Bonnie Burn Road
Watchung
(908) 322-7200
http://www.coloradocafe.com/

— by Nicole Little
Nicole, GoOutJersey's associate editor, is a Nutley native and recent Weehawken transplant. She loves dining out and imposing her opinions on others, which makes her a well-qualified reviewer.

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