Beat People With Sticks With Your New Boyfriend

I am dangerous at mini-golf.

This is not a euphemistic way of saying that I’m an awesome player. I’m average. I stay on par.

I’m dangerous because I’m careless and don’t know my own strength. I’ve wacked people with clubs I was twirling, rocketed golf balls at preschoolers’ heads (I’m still sooooooo sorry!) and launched balls into the water traps two holes over.

And yet, despite all my foibles, they still let me back in to Dynamite Falls.

It’s the perfect place to kill some time if you need to entertain a small person, add some cheese to your dating life, or want to act like a doofus with your friends.

There are no windmills or clown’s heads but there is an old-mine theme complete with moving ore car, a stream designed to carry your ball from the top of the course to the lower playing level, exploding fountains and a squawking hawk. The course - that switches up uneven greens, water traps and hills – is challenging for players of any age but not impossible, even for the little putters.

It’s an affordable night out, with admission prices for adults costing less than a movie ticket ($7.75 for adults 12 and older. $6.75 for kids 3-11).

On the 18th hole, as mini-golf tradition would dictate, a hole in one can win you a free game and a spectacle to boot.

Dynamite Falls also offers a snack bar and party packages.

Dynamite Falls
400 Fairfield Road
at The Gallo Family Mall
Fairfield
Golf Information: (973) 808-0300
http://www.dynamitefalls.com/

— by Ali Hanford
Ali is managing editor and a co-founder of GoOutJersey and lives in Essex County. She has lived in NJ her whole life.

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