Didn’t Think We Could Rhyme, Did You?
OK, so technically we don’t do much rhyming below but April is National Poetry Month and what better way to celebrate than with poems exalting our grand state and the lives that spring forth from its, um, enriched soil (such as ogling guidos, commuters, and Jersey prom queens)? Here are a few haikus, limericks and an ode thrown in for fun. Keep checking back - there are more to come. And if you feel inspired, drop us a few lines in the comment section.
Haikus
Two new ones (from our vacationing Maleka). She says they were inspired by having to take the Jitney when NJ Transit was too late…
Hudson County Jitney Bus – Transit Story #1
Smelly, full, tight, cramped
Fare only dollar-25
Get what you paid for
Loud Cell Phone Talker – Transit Story #2
Acrylic nails tap
Joisey accent yaps away
Why so loud, lady?
Girls wear tight shirts out
I can look but can’t say hi
I hate my girlfriend
-John Busco
Must tell boss I’m late
Stuck on the highway again
Tunnel traffic sucks.
-Donna M.
Taylor Ham and Cheese
I’m so hungover today
This sandwich cures me
-Ali Hanford
Meadowlands. Parkway.
Swamps and cars, oh so stinky
Don’t you love this state.
-Donna M.
Eight bucks for a beer
Is reason to pee on bar
Hope no one gets wet
-John Busco
Fake Acrylic Nails
Tan paid for with dad’s Visa
New Jersey Homecoming Queen.
-Ali Hanford
Vats of Frying Grease.
Diners fill your arteries.
Oh the joy in pain.
-Donna M.
30 is too old
For some guys but not for me
I am 28
-John Busco
Twenty-Four Hour Diner
Disco Fries and Hot coffee
Late Night Second Home
-Ali Hanford
Limericks
There was a bartender named Sue
Every drink she made tasted like poo
She had a large chest
So she heard, “You’re the best!”
When she served up Kahlua and Dew
-John Busco
I made out with a girl in a bar
She said, “A good kisser you are!”
But that silly whore
Didn’t know that before
I had puked on the hood of some car
-John Busco
Ode to the Jersey Diner
your neon lights challenge the heaven’s hues
pink, blue and yellow
blinking
I never want to leave you.
overflowing ketchup bottles
caked and sticky like the
linoleum beneath our feet
and vinyl beneath our bums
all joining together with
little napkin dispensers and
jukeboxes at every table
entertaining as we
wait
anticipate
the little-mustachioed waitress
who will soothe our gurgling, grease-hungry
tummies
24-hours a day
you spare no details
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