If you grew up in North Arlington, you know about Fatso Fogarty’s. Fights, public urination - it has developed a certain reputation over the last two decades. And until I ventured inside last Friday, I always thought it was dirty and dim, and filled with drunken old men and guidos.
Well, surprisingly, the guido-to-human ratio was actually quite small Friday night.
On a tree-lined corner off-the-beaten path in Hoboken, you will find a pleasant place to eat and drink at Zack’s Oak Bar & Restaurant.
A handful of tiny, umbrella-d outdoor tables greet you as you approach Zack’s little, flower box-lined fence.
Inside is equally cheery and inviting. As you enter, you’ll see a few rows of dark wooden booths in the dining area to your right. (Author’s note: The entrance to the restaurant is on 3rd. There is a door on the Willow Ave side of the building, but it’s exit-only and has no handle on it. You will look like a jackass if you try to open it. Don’t ask me how I know that.)
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Located on Haledon Ave in the shadow of nearby William Paterson College, the recently improved “New” Who’s Inn? fuses elements of a local watering hole with a veritable training ground for Beer Olympics. Upon entrance, appearances are deceiving; a small bar featuring only about 10 seats gives the impression of a “townie” bar spot, not usually appealing to the local college crowd. Further inspection would find a pool table -$1 per game - and an enclosed area for darts that separates patrons from the game, preventing anyone from having to yell “Dude, you got a f*#&ing dart in your neck!” (I like you man, but you’re crazy…)
But this location offers a secret for the college crowd that the casual passer-by would not easily discover. Through a small door beyond the pool table lies a former storage area converted to a beer pong/flip cup haven. Here, the hottest college drinking games can be played by amateurs and seasoned veterans alike, with enough elbow room to feel comfortable. This place isn’t fooling around — the bar holds monthly beer pong tournaments and hosted a Beer Olympics the weekend of April 20th.
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Well-nestled within the Pascack Valley, is The Cornerstone. This Hillsdale bar / pub has been home to a few watering holes in the past, but most notably began its huge success as the now-defunct Bourbon Street. With a change in management, came a change in name and name only.
The Cornerstone’s management continues Bourbon Street’s success as a New Orleans-themed tavern by keeping the Big Easy feel. From the balcony that overlooks the lower bar to the jazzy atmosphere, there is not much that doesn’t exude that French Quarter style. Especially in February when they host the annual Mardi Gras party.
The usual week-night crowd is full of locals and bridge and tunnel commuters fresh from the station across the street. The air in the room is of a bunch of people blowing off some steam before heading home and getting ready to do it all over again tomorrow. You can easily catch up with a friend, grab a bite to eat or simply enjoy the next Mets victory.
The staff really tends to your every need without becoming a nuisance by constantly asking if they can get you anything. If you come to eat, you can’t go wrong with anything on the menu. Whether it’s their classic burger, baby back ribs or pecan crusted catfish, you won’t be disappointed by the combination of flavors, textures or portion size. Personally, I recommend the coconut shrimp appetizer followed by the open-faced steak sandwich
The Cornerstone is a relaxing place to catch up with friends, bring a family or simply try a new bar.
That is, until you go on a Friday or Saturday night. On any given weekend night there’s a DJ that sets up and spins usual club-crowd favorites across a number of genres (hip hop, R&B, pop, etc.) But, the music isn’t the only thing that takes you away from the lush Mississippi delta. On these nights, as soon as the DJ is set up and the crowd starts shuffling in, you are transported from jazz night in New Orleans to spring break in Cancun.
Scantily-clad ladies (even in the dead of winter) and gel-haired guys all doused in the fragrance of the month grinding away to an ear-shattering bass that still hasn’t cleared DJ Kool’s throat. All the makings of a frat party without the required keg of cheap beer (Natural Light, PBR, whatever watered down ale you like).
Don’t get me wrong. The Cornerstone is a great place for a night out in a laid-back atmosphere to grab some dinner, have a few drinks, watch a game, and maybe even meet someone new. But once you see the DJ starting to set up, grab your check, tip your waitress and head for your car.
The Cornerstone Restaurant
84 Broadway
Hillsdale
(201) 666-8688
http://www.thecornerstonenj.com/
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Walking into the bar at Austin’s Restaurant, you could easily assume you just entered an average sit-and-sip bar. Complete with a few booths, Deer Hunter game, and Touch Tune jukebox, Austin’s could make an unwitting patron content to pull up a seat and just unwind. On weekend nights, the first floor bar is busy, but not crowded. If a greater level of privacy (and food) is desired, you can cross the bar and head into the dining room. The menu features a Texas BBQ-style variety from burgers and wraps, to sizzling steaks and chops…
But that’s not why I’m here tonight.
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For some reason, whenever anyone comes up this way to head over to the Medieval Times in Lyndhurst for dinner and a tournament, I get the call. “Hey, do you want to go to Medieval Times?” Sigh. Not really – but I’m not one to decline from social activity and I do love eating with my hands – so I always go.
I’m not trying to dissuade anyone from the corny feudal fun. It’s a great place to bring kids. It’s hilarious if you get loaded on mead and bring your most obnoxious friends. And the food (half a chicken, a rib, garlic bread, soup, an herbed potato and dessert) is actually good. It’s dinner and a show for only 60 bucks (gratuity and alcohol not included).
But I’m not here to bring you the point of view of some doe-eyed tourist who wandered out of Manhattan for the day to experience the joys of outlet shopping and jousting contests. I’m here to bring you the view of a jaded Jersey Girl who has definitely been there and done that.
To those of you who aren’t familiar with Medieval Times, here’s the deal. As you walk in, they assign you to a particular knight (red, green, red and yellow, black and white, blue and yellow). You wear the corresponding burger king-style paper crown and are forced to get your picture taken with either King Alfonso or Princess Esmerelda as you enter. They take great offense if you decline.
Since you were encouraged to arrive an hour before show time, you have lots of time to kill at one of the many bars or even more plentiful gift shop areas – both viciously overpriced. If you have an extra two dollars to spare, you can even take a tour of the torture chamber and have your picture taken in the stockade with the executioner holding his axe to your neck.
Once the show starts, you file into the stadium-style seating, as directed by the King’s right hand man. There will be little conversation as it is incredibly loud and you will be sitting at a long counter-like table, only able to hear the person right next to you. Serving wenches and serfs brings out food while bar wenches take drink orders. People try to sell you souvenirs and the pictures you were forced to take earlier in the evening.
{spoiler} A jousting tournament begins and goes ugly when the palace sorcerer brings news that there is a traitor among them. The contest is now to the death. But the princess saves the life of her lover so that when all of the good, noble knights are dead, there is still someone left to take out the turncoat and save the day. Who doesn’t love a happy ending? {end spoiler}
The plot is not the only constant. There is always a list of people celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, engagements (lame) and bachelor parties (way lame) that is read aloud for what seems like an eternity. There is never any silverware and anyone who sneaks some in (or outside food for a picky child) will be pointed out and mocked. And some wonderful asshole in the blue section will always call out to his knight, “You’re my boy, Blue! You’re my boy! You look glorious!”
The charm of attending Medieval Times as a North Jersey native is that you will probably see a serf or wench that you went to high school with. This is not to say that you will be served by some Gina Spaghetti-head in wench-attire. It is just as professionally handled as any other branch of the chain. My only complaint is that it kind of destroys the suspension of disbelief. What if I thought I’d actually traveled back to 11th century Spain? I know my high school volleyball captain wouldn’t have been there serving garlic bread and now all I can think about is the poor life choices she must’ve made since graduation.
When my sister and I go, we like to keep a running tally of all the people we know. Between the two of us we know a horse trainer, a serf, a serving wench, a photo wench, and a trumpeter who, surprise, was in the high school band. According to the photo wench, sometimes the king and the princess like to get trashed with the wenches and serfs whenever they don’t have to be seated at their royal thrones.
It’s weird to know these inner secrets. I suppose it’s the same kind of troubling information people in the Orlando area have about the Disney characters marching around the Magic Kingdom. Sure, to you and me it might be Pooh Bear, but to Janice Smithendorf, it might be her 23-year-old pot-head brother who took the job to pay his way through Devry.
The other perk, as a single lass, is that North Jersey is one of only seven places in the U.S. where you can be at a bar, ask a guy his occupation, and find out that he’s a knight or ick a squire. Sure, you might get a well-placed lance joke out of the encounter, but then what? Does this man have a future? I’ve often wondered how high that ladder climbs. Sure, the squires are knights in training, but where do you go from there?
Perhaps, ladies, if you have that knight-on-a-white-horse fantasy about finding the perfect man, this is just the area to hang out in. And fortunately for you, after the tournament, you can dance the night away in the Medieval Times “Knight Club,” where the knights and nobility come out to mingle with patrons, sign autographs, and take pictures.
Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament
149 Polito Ave
Lyndhurst
(201) 933-7608
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Now, we’ve all been to a Starbucks at least a million times in our lives, right? If you say no, you’re probably lying (and also probably addicted). But that’s neither here nor there. What is here (in downtown Jersey City), is a little place called Babo Teahouse. If you’re from NYC, I know what you’re thinking: Babo sounds like a fancy Italian restaurant owned by a famous Food TV chef (Mario Batali, anyone?). But, like I said, this is Jersey City, not Manhattan. Here, Babo Teahouse, or Babo for short, is like an Asian alternative to those bloated coffee chains although –what a surprise — Babo is located directly across the street from a Starbucks. Trust me, skip over the green monster and head across the street instead. I’ve been there several times myself, sometimes more than once a day.
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This review is tough for me to write. I understand that change is the only thing that remains constant in the universe, but not everything has to, right? My favorite bar in Hoboken over the past three years has been Gaslight.
That post is now vacant.
I first started going to Gaslight because it was convenient. I lived less than two blocks away and the drinks were strong. By the time I realized that Gaslight probably had the best DJ in Hoboken working on Friday and Saturday nights, I saw no reason to go anywhere else for a drink. And it eventually reached the point where the bartenders would put my drink on the bar as soon as they saw me come in. For real — I felt like Norm Peterson every time I set foot in Gaslight (and at least two of my GoOutJersey comrades benefited from this level of recognition). I don’t necessarily expect a complementary hot toddy whenever I tell a bartender that I’m a little under the weather, but it wouldn’t hurt.
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Firewaters, located next to nationally-recognized “dirty-old-man” paradise Hooters, offers an eclectic mix of exotic beers, ear-shattering music, and a Martini bar. Clearly it’s still trying to differentiate itself from the rest of the Bergen County bar scene and its seedy neighbor.
Leather seats and couches, a dance floor and darts area, all make up the main area. The less-inviting seats at the bar, however, are made of metal and provide little comfort.
The array of beers on tap are incredibly varied, including many East Coast micro brews including Magic Hat #9, Ommegang Three Philosophers, and Dogfish Head (priced $5.50 and up). They have nearly 40 beers on tap, so selecting a new drink by its handle can be half the fun.
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Get Your Green On
In celebration of one of the first warm days of March, my friend and I decided to drive out to the Gaslight Brewery* in South Orange for some Fish and Chips and a mid-afternoon buzz.
We found a parking space in a municipal lot just off of South Orange Ave. As we stepped out of the car, we saw, hidden behind all of the fancy storefronts of the main drag, Cryan’s Beef and Ale house.
The exterior was old and wooden. A painted white and green sign hung from the storefront beside shamrocks advertising Guinness. It was so Irishy – and so close to St. Patty’s Day. It was like stumbling upon Santa’s workshop days before Christmas. So, of course, we went there instead.
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