Imagining Hoboken Before the Yuppies

Located right down the street from Tenth and Willow, Rogo’s offers the polar opposite of the yuppified “I’ll drink my $8 mixed drink because this is the price you pay to hang out with other sophisticated douche bags” attitude just a couple blocks away.

The thing that you’ll instantly like about Rogo’s is how familiar it seems, and how easily you can sit there and morph into the crowd. If bars were blood types, Rogo’s would be AB+, “the universal acceptor.” Spend enough time at Rogo’s and you’ll probably hear, “This reminds me of this bar from home I used to drink at when I was 19 and got back from college!” at least ten times.

So what is it that makes it so homey?

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Where To Make Yourself At Home in Hoboken

You just moved to Hoboken. You’re 24 years old. These are the best times of your life, right? The sizzling, spectacular 20’s… your body can still handle some good partying on the weekends, or even a weeknight, and your career can still handle those rough Friday mornings on little sleep with a grainy cup of imitation espresso from the company kitchen.

Yet there is one tiny problem standing in your way! You realize there are dozens of bars on every corner and you don’t know anyone yet except your old pal Petesey from elementary school and your neighbor, Sue, who mentions that knitting and Hogan Knows Best reruns are among her favorite free-time activities.

Where can you go to meet new people, have a few reasonably priced drinks, and soak in the atmosphere of a new town? One option in the uptown sector of Hoboken, just a few blocks from the main street, is Ted and Jo’s, everybody’s favorite neighborhood bar.

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Every Rose Has Its Thorn (but you still like ‘em)

Mexicali Rose is the little Tex-Mex restaurant in Montclair you’ve probably heard nothing but good things about. In its heyday, Mexicali Rose always received rave reviews, had a packed dining room, and never disappointed.

The BYOB spot, located on Park St, (right across from the YMCA Stephen Colbert is rumored to work out in – FYI) has a small dining room and an extensive menu packed with typical items like fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, quesadillas and nachos. If you remember to bring your own tequila, they’ll whip up some delicious frozen lime or strawberry margaritas for only $9.95. (If you forget to bring the booze, there’s a liquor store on Park Ave.)

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Pop-Rock and $2 Beer

The vibe inside Just Jakes – a restaurant by day and bar by night – varies throughout the week, often in tune with its various specials and entertainment events. It’s not a bad bar to go to, but I’ve never found anything particularly impressive about it.

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Hey everyone,

In the coming weeks, GoOutJersey will be searching for the Best Pizza Slice in this region. We’ll be wandering — with grease dripping down our chins and a trail of paper plates in our wake — from North Arlington to Kearny, Clifton, Hoboken, Nutley and beyond (well, not too far beyond).

This is obviously a lot of ground to cover and with some seriously steep competition, so help us out! You’re from Jersey, which means you’re opinionated and vocal, so let us know your favorite pizza parlor, where it is, and why you’d recommend them. Post your comments below, for all to see and agree/disagree with you.

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Heeeey!
Waitressss!
Come eeear! (That translates to “here” for those of you who don’t speak drunk.)

At the end of a long, exhausting night of cocktailing, the angry Jersey Waitress knows that one of two things is going to follow that inviting introduction.

Either the alcoholic at her table — who’s already broken two glasses, fallen into the pool table, and would have to think for a good long time to remember how to spell his own name — hasn’t had enough to drink and is ready to beg for one more shot (ten minutes after last call) or he’s struck out with every available girl at the bar and is now turning his attentions to the staff.

I have seen middle-aged men tell 20-year-old servers that they are FBI agents who will have the bar raided if they don’t accept their dinner invitations; ambitious lesbians pursue straight women even after being told that they are married, uninterested, and uncomfortable with even their own vagina; and 30-somethings stumble and cop cheap feels before asking for phone numbers.

My favorite, though, was a forty-something fisherman from Flordia. He was a big man, about 6’2” and shaped like Humpty Dumpty. Too big for a belt, his pants were held up by large, red suspenders that peaked out from beneath his flannel shirt. His hair (both facial and otherwise) was wild and uncombed, black and bushy. It was a bit like Dumbledore’s from the Harry Potter movies, only with dandruff.

And I’ll never forget his smile, as part of it wasn’t there. His front tooth was missing.

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Low on Class/High on Beer

Two of my friends and I decided it would be fun try hitting every bar on Clifton’s Van Houten Ave on a Friday night. It was about 16 degrees – and we were under the assumption that Van Houten was a lot shorter and that the bars were a lot closer together then they actually are. But, fueled by the foolishness of youth and Amstel Light, we carried on. Rather than do the drunk-walk in sub-freezing temperatures (Hey, that’s how Russians die!) we cheated and forced our designatedish driver to convert our Crawl into a Pub Cruise.

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A Refuge From Fun And Werewolves

As I see things, there are three reasons for you to go to The Basement:

1. You are a moron.
2. You work there.
3. Your car broke down at the front door / It is the only building with lights on / You are being chased by a werewolf, and need a place to seek refuge.

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Dining with the Jitterbug Generation

Here is a great place in Clifton for standard Italian fare and good, thin-crust pizza at very reasonable prices.

Mario’s Restaurant and Pizzeria has existed since the dawn of time or so, so it’s a standard for the Jitterbug/Charleston set. It boasts a full bar, thrifty dinner specials, and hefty portions.

Mario’s is a great place to go for dinner with your folks, since it’s as un-presumptuos as they come and the food is pretty cheap (no griping from Dad about the bill). But I wouldn’t take a date there, as the ambience is more flourescent-lit barn than candle-lit corner booth.

My favorite item on the menu has always been the Penne Vodka, but there are lots of other classic pasta, chicken, and seafood dishes to try. I tend to stay away from the baked items (manicotti or similar) as they can be a little dry.

This is a restaurant that can serve a variety of needs. Here are some common reasons to go to, and love, Mario’s:

1. Drunk from bar hopping on Van Houten. “Must have hot, fresh pizza immediately.”
2. Need to rent cavern-like dining room (it’s pretty much always empty) for cheap-o retirement/birthday/3rd wedding celebration.
3. Hungry now and will probably be hungry again tomorrow night; order any dish and leftovers for tomorrow’s dinner are pretty much guaranteed.
4. In the mood for hearing a live, impromptu, slow & warbly, six-part harmony Old Guard-type song while dining (I swear this happened while I was there once).
5. Need the freedom to choose between thin-crust and unbelievably-thin-crust. And we’re talking crispy, not floppy crusts!
6. Want to get the feeling of really dining out (white linen tablecloths), without having to worry about being under-dressed (they put them on the table after you sit down).

The only downside of a trip to Mario’s is the disproportionately teensy parking lot with its treacherous exit. If you need to turn left onto Van Houten Ave when you’re leaving, you may consider selling your house and moving so that your home is to the right instead. But it’s a small inconvenience for good, honest Italian food that won’t empty out your wallet.
Mario’s Restaurant and Pizzeria
710 Van Houten Ave
Clifton
(973) 777-1559

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This Hotel Bar Isn’t Just for Adulterers & Out-of-Towners

With the growth of tapas bars in recent years, I feel it’s also become quite acceptable to go into a non-tapas restaurant and order several appetizers for sharing, rather than several entrees. And if I ever went back to The Harbor Bar and Brasserie, that is most likely what I’d do because their appetizers were what made them stand out on this evening.

Located on the Hudson River waterfront, in the Sheraton Suites in Weehawken, this trying-to-be upscale sports bar is taking full advantage of its locale with nearly floor-to-ceiling windows. I’m not sure if the windows are a result of the recent renovation, but it’s a great feature. We went there one winter evening, so there was no real desire to stand outside and enjoy the views unobstructed. Luckily, our meal had certain highlights –which I’ll get to — that would bring me back once summer rolls in.

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